Dragging

I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. I am worried about my uncle. My aunt finally told my parents last night about him, so at least I don't have to keep it a secret any more. I am very frustrated that the biopsy isn't scheduled until next Thursday.....I mean, couldn't they have gotten him in sooner, we are talking about lung cancer here. He doesn't have time to waste. My aunt told us yesterday that what he said was that he always knew that he was going to get cancer, but he had hoped that he would have had a little more time. That is heartbreaking. He doesn't deserve this. He has had a very hard life. Sometimes I wonder how God can do this, it makes me question everything. How can he just standby and watch an innocent man get diagnosed with cancer, and I am not just talking about my uncle.....I mean anybody. Nobody deserves to suffer from cancer. How can God let cancer exist? It doesn't make sense. I don't see the purpose of cancer. It makes me not want to believe any more. That makes me sad. Then again nothing seems to make sense these days. I haven't been able to see God's purpose in my life in a while. Why is all this bad stuff happening to me.....is he testing me? Because I definitely don't need to be tested right now. I know God works in mysterious ways....but I just can't see how any of this could be positive right now. The apartment fire? my therapist leaving? CANCER? How is he using any of that for his good? I just don't get it.