I have to say that overall today has been a MUCH better day than the past two days. I mostly attribute that to the fact that I was surrounded by family all day. I have to say that through all of this crap that I have been through....my family has been by my side and super supportive. Sure, they have their moments, when they disagree with my treatment team about something, or they push me unnecessarily, but overall...I am one lucky girl. Hearing other girl's stories in treatment and outside of treatment, I feel very blessed.
It is also one thing that tends to bother me sometimes because I feel like, I came from such a privileged background.....how did I end up so messed up? It doesn't seem to make much sense in many ways. I know eating disorders and depression have more to do than with family, but it seems like such a big part. It makes me feel like such a failure to them as their daughter. They seriously did the best they possibly could with what they had in raising me, and what do I have to offer them in return? They were my main motivation in my last treatment to get better, but it still wasn't enough. I am still not better. I hope that one day I can be a daughter that they can be proud of.
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