Friday, December 30, 2011


As you can probably tell, I have taken quite a hiatus from blogging.  Honestly, I don't really know if anyone is still following on here!  However, I do want to make a post.

The hiatus from June until now has been absolutely positive.  In fact.....ED is a very small part of my day to day life these days.  I have had no ED behaviors whatsoever since June of 2011.  Making the new year ring in 6 months behavior free.  Honestly, I just realized this a few weeks ago, as I had not really been keeping any count of just sort of snuck up on me.

I have been fairly engrossed in enjoying LIFE......rather than finding ways to self-destruct.  Sure, I will be completely honest, it hasn't been easy.....I still have days that I feel down, have crying spells, feel gross and ugly, but the reality is I am choosing NOT to let them define me anymore.  I just can't live my life obsessed with my weight and with unrealistic expectations of what I think I "should" look like.  It is not only unfair to me but it is unfair to everyone around me.

2011 has honestly been a wonderful year.  One of the best of my life.  I can finally say now that I am truly recovered, and it feels amazing.  Also, I am now ENGAGED!!  Which feels pretty darn good too.  He proposed on Christmas, and it was wonderful.  I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together and see how things unfold.

I am going back to school in January after FINALLY making up my mind on something.  I'm just going to stick it out.  I have come to the realization that, for me, a job is never going to be what fills me up everyday.  It is always going to be just a job.  I know that some people would argue that I just need to find the right thing.....however, if you would get to know me a little better, you would know that I've been there, tried that method.  That method resulted in my past of having changed majors a total of 6 or 7 times (I can't exactly remember them all) and having been at 4 different Universities and 3 different community colleges over the years.  My mind doesn't work that way.  My home life and family is always going to be what fills me up, and so I am going for a major and job that will hopefully result in a regular 9-5 job Monday thru Friday with weekends and holidays off.

My fiancee and I are hoping to be married at the end of May.  I know that is not a whole lot of time to plan a wedding, but we want a very small wedding.  We were originally hoping to go to Vegas and get married, which isn't totally out of the picture yet, but then my grandma wouldn't be able to see me get married.

So anyways.....that is a bit of an update.  I am hoping to maybe get on here once a month and update, just about how things are and what is going on in my life.  The blog will not really be very ED related anymore, but more of just entries about what I'm up to or into at that particular time.  I hope that everybody had a very Merry Christmas and best wishes for a Fabulous 2012 (if anybody is still reading!!)