Well, I must admit.....I have been a bit hesitant to write again because I had a slip up. It seems to me that whenever I come close to approaching a big goal I set for myself I slip up. I don't know if it is truely self-sabatoge or not, but at times it seems like it.
I have been a bit more stressed lately. I finally found a job, and I have been in the process of gettin hired. I will be working at the local Rite Aid store here. I am extremely nervous about it, but trying to reassure myself that things will be fine. It is just nerve-wracking because I know that I tend to get overwhelmed very easily, and I know at Jo-Ann Fabrics (my last job) I had a hard time.
I have been more weight-focused recently, I feel like I can't stop eating! I feel huge. I have gained weight. I feel yucky, but I am trying to tell myself I am okay. That weight does not define me. It is just hard sometimes. Some days are better than others. I have not restricted or used any behaviors other than that one time, though, which is good.
I've been more tired recently, but at the same time had trouble sleeping.....so I don't know what is up with that. Sometimes I worry that another bout of depression is coming on, but up to this point, if it is another bout of depression it has been quite mild. I am hoping to just ride it out for the next month or so, keeping myself on a schedule, and hoping it will pass.
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Mary, you ca do this! We don't have to be perfect even though it is hard to not to try to be. I to at times still get weight focused and have to stop and think about who I am and ask myself if the amount I weigh changes that and it does not. God and our closest family and friends only care about the person we become and not what we look like and our number on the scale. As for the slip up, recognize it for what it was, a slip up, and get right back on track. Working again can be scary, but you are moving in the right direction. Take one day at a time and try to have fun at work and it will make it easier. Stay strong and I am here for you and understand what it is like which is good because even at time those around us who love us do not understand, so if you need a pick me up you better let me know:)
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