Christmas

Things are moving along. I can't believe Christmas is here already. I have gifts for my family....some things that I meant to give were not completed so I had to resort to back-up gifts, but all is ready. I feel at peace about Christmas this year. More at peace about this Christmas than I ever have in the past 8 years. I feel like I am letting this all go. Letting go of the ED, the crap I deal with. Maybe it's the meds, maybe it's something else...I don't know. I am 17 days binge purge free. My goal is to make it to New Years, and set a new goal from there. I am sad that Micky and I are not able to be together this Christmas, though. Sad about some other things but I don't feel like talking about that on here. I am not, however, letting it effect my food or other things. I would just like some things in my life to be different right now, but I am powerless to change them. The change has to come from elsewhere. That is very vague, but I am dealing. I am in the process of applying to EVMS for fall. I seriously doubt I will get in for next fall. I think I will have a much better chance for fall 2011. I don't know. I feel like my ED is going away but I am still mentally not at such a great place. My depression is still ever present. There are still many problems. I thought the world of recovery was supposed to be so wonderful??? Yeah....not so much.