Where I am.

Just thought I would put an update out there about where I am mentally.  Things are extremely hard right now.  Not ED-wise, but depression wise.  They have continued to fall downward over the past few months.  I am so very tired all the time and just not wanting to be around anybody.  Everything, even activities of daily living seem like HUGE tasks to complete.  I have headaches daily, and can't make it through a day without napping.  I sleep usually 12+ hours a day.  Why?  I don't know.  I don't know if it is a way of escaping the world, a side effect of coming off of the medications, or just another sign that my depression is getting worse.  I saw my NP about a week ago, and she suggested that I see my endocrinologist again....she is a specialist in Pituitary disorders.  When I was 17, I had a cyst on my Pituitary gland, which I had to have removed, and she was the doctor who followed me through it.  We have made an appointment with her, but it is not until October 7.  So I probably won't be getting any answers about anything until then.  I tend to seriously doubt if it this has anything at all to do with my Pituitary Gland.  It just seems that medically, I am completely stable and fine, I just feel awful, and no medicine can help me.  So I feel quite stuck and hopeless at the moment.  I seem to just be having a very hard time seeing the positives right now.  All I want is to just curl up in my bed and stay there.  I am trying to keep pushing through the days, but it is hard.  I am going to look for a job.....it is just hard to think about how I will ever be able to handle one, but it seems that it is what I must do right now.