Still on the Brink

I am still on the edge of crashing. My blood work came back with low potassium, low CO2 and low Iron stores. I saw my psychiatrist today about all of it. He is changing some things around and putting me on iron pills. I have had to miss 2 days of work for this. I just can't do it. I can't handle it. I am SO tired. All I want to do is be alone and sleep my life away. My doc thinks it is a lot more than just the low iron making me tired. He said he had never seen me so depressed and zombie-like, as he put it. I am at a crossroads. I don't know what to do. My dietitian reinforced the basic meal plan today, I tried it tonight and I feel incredibly full. I know I need to just do it, but it is so hard. She told me that the nutrition will take care of the other levels if I do it every day. I feel so huge and stupid. Not what my therapist would want. Not what a mothering voice would tell me. That voice seems to have up and left my brain. Micky is at a point where I think he is sick of me. He is depressed himself having me depressed and due to some other things at his work. It is all I can do to get out of bed, eat three meals, and take a shower each day. I am crying constantly, which makes me even more tired and sad. I feel like I am shutting down during sessions, and I don't know how to snap myself out of it. I just start with the "I don't knows" and it all goes downhill from there. My doc has actually talked to me about magnet therapy and ECT but we don't know what insurance will pay for....ugh. Enough of my complaining. Back to sleep.